The confessions of an addict

My husband once made an observation. He classified drinkers into two categories. The 'social’ drinkers' only drank in the right ambiance — think ‘grammable resto-bars, fancy glasses, ombre-looking cocktails... If they were given alcohol in a steel tumbler, they’d probably turn their faces away. 

The hard-core drinkers, on the other hand, drink to get high. It is like they show in the movies, a grungy wine shop and a plastic cup would do. They don’t need champagne flutes and mint sprigs!

And I have begun to realize that if you were to apply the same idea to reading and books, I would be the latter!

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Recently, I saw a 'booktok' reel where a person spoke about buying another edition of a novel because the cover art was too good. It took me some time to wrap my head around it. I had stopped reading physical books quite some time back, and now to see someone buy two editions for the cover just blew my mind. 

I'll explain why... let me take you on a little flashback.

My reading journey started with the third Famous Five book. I was in 2nd standard. My mom (an avid reader) decided I could now take on some bigger books and got this one from the library. She volunteered to read it out to me and two lines in, I knew that reading was not something I wanted to share with anybody. I read the whole book and then started looking for more. 

The library became my most favorite place in the world. 

My parents didn't have the money to buy new books every time I finished one. They were readers too, so a family library membership made more sense. We moved to multiple houses and states, and the first thing we did in each place was find a library nearby. 

I was allowed to take three books at a time, and I had a pattern. One comic and two big books. The library would give me 2 weeks to finish the books, but on the first weekend, I'd be done and asking for more. My parents usually obliged, but if they were busy with other things, I went with my grandpa. Proud that his granddaughter had a reading habit, he would be ready to shell out the cash for a couple more books. It was a little treat I looked forward to!

I got through the various Enid Blyton mysteries, love-hated the Sweet Valley twins, and promptly fell in love with Ned Nickerson in the Nancy Drew books. 

And then came the Harry Potter era and thus began the lying and deception.  

If you are a 90s kid, you would be familiar with the "we will cut cable till exams are over" threat. In my case, it was always the books. And it wasn't even just about exams. When I had a good book, making me get up and do anything was difficult. 

I had just started the Goblet of Fire and the kinda book that it was, I was reading faster than my eyes could catch up. But my family was having none of it. I had to eat, sleep, and do chores around the house as though there wasn't a 14-year-old's life hanging in the balance. 

I found a workaround. I would breezily announce that I was going in for a shower, lock the room for "privacy," and read in secret! 

And it wasn't just then! By the time I was in high school/college, I had secreted away an emergency torch in my room, right beside my bed. I would put out the lights and use the lamp to read. If I heard my mother stirring in the other room, I'd switch it off and pretend to be fast asleep! 

But where do you think I got this from? 

I found the same woman who yelled at me for my bad sleeping habits, up at 3AM, sheepishly admitting that she just wanted to finish her book.

My need for books and lack of money made me quite resourceful. 

First, I realized that beggars couldn't be choosers. I read whatever I got. This is how I started reading Readers' Digest and Women's Era at a very young age. Once at a family gathering, a relative took pity on the bored 11-year-old and gave me a dog-eared copy of an abridged version of Swiss Family Robinson. I read it, loved it, and even took it home! 

Next, it made me a fast reader. Every year, my school would host a Scholastic exhibition. I (obviously) couldn’t afford any of the books, but for those two days, we were allowed to browse around as much as we liked. In my case, this meant finishing a short novel without spending a penny on it!

Books also made me get out more! Once I had my own cycle, I decided waiting the mandatory week for the next library visit was unnecessary. It was farther than I was used to cycling, but anything for a book, and enough time to look for one!

So, when I finally started earning my own money, with visions of Pinterest-y bookshelves in mind, I vowed to buy books. By then, I had become a slower reader, I had TV shows to distract me, I had a job to do, and I had yet to learn time management. 

Barely a year after this, Kindle became affordable and gained popularity. I was floored by the technology. Books immediately available at half rates and all of them in one slim device? It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen! 

For a person who never went anywhere without a book in the bag, this was heaven-sent (or more like Amazon-sent). The Kindle and I went on multiple dates where I gazed at its slate face while gorging on good food.

Then, my mom borrowed the Kindle, I often forgot to charge it.. and one crucial day, I bowed down to fate and started reading on my phone.

This was a step further in my book addiction. Unlike a paperback or the Kindle, my phone was always in my hand or pocket and I could read just about anywhere -- think waiting for a lift, standing in a queue, making dosa (I did this with books too TBH), website loading times, a lull in conversation.. any spare minute and I'd have my nose in a book. 

This also made it easy to read multiple books simultaneously. So, sometimes I am traveling with crime-fighting octogenarians, and at other times I am inside the head of an Irish woman with a loud and messy family.

If you are wondering if I can follow a storyline reading this way, I would say yes. Its all about compartmentalizing (and maybe reading a few pages multiple times!)

Now that you know all this, you will understand why I am surprised by people motivated to buy books for their beautiful covers or have specific reading nooks in their homes. I would love a reading nook, but then again, I would love to have the kind of life where I have some time set aside for reading! 

I am not that person.

I don't care about the 'smell of books'. In fact, I prefer reading apps. I can refer to dictionaries and increase font sizes and I don't even need to buy a handmade bookmark!

I am Shyama and I am a book addict. 

I would read anything to get to the end of a story. You can give me reams of paper typed in Comic Sans, and I will read it! 

If you asked me for book recommendations though, I would shy away. I read only specific genres, never the ones on the best-selling list, and definitely not the acclaimed ones. If we were to continue drawing parallels, I don't know the names of the trending cocktails, or what pairs with what.

I hide my tastes because I think you wouldn't understand why I love a certain book. 

But that doesn't matter. 

I read 53 books this year. I inhabited 53 worlds other than my own, and at the end of each book, I was a little different than I had been. 


Footnotes:

- I did end up getting the Pinterest-y bookshelf though, but they are filled with my kids' books!

- The best part about reading is that you are never alone. You may be among some fictional and questionable company, but you always have company

- I am not kidding when I say I would read anything. There are books I have read as PDFs on the internet with a patchy connection on a desktop. The English translation of Ponniyin Selvan I read just before the movie was released had Devi autocorrected to Devil on every page. I still read all 5/6 books!

- It's very easy to think I am a phone addict. But I am actually reading. Have you ever thought about how book readers have a good rep, but phone readers somehow don't?!

- Though I said I won't, I will recommend a book I read recently about actual addiction -- Rachel's Holiday by Marian Keyes. That book is all kinds of amazing.