The one in which I am FAT!!!

My artwork with all the Kisses I ate!

It all started in the winter of 2012. Okay, it started long before that.. but yeah, this episode started in the winter of 2012. The news reporters said, like they do every year, that this was the coldest winter in the past 10 years and we, of course, kept quoting this to the relatives who lived in the South!

Like every winter, I was constantly hungry and I told myself it was to maintain the body heat. Saying this, I gorged on anything everything that was available in the house, in the office I interned in and the nearest mall. I convinced myself saying no one is gonna notice the flab under all the clothing I wore (jacket, sweater, coats,…..) and of course, summer would come and I would move to Chennai and walk like a crazy person and lose all the flab.

Summer did come and I did move to Chennai. But as my Tanzanian vacation was about to begin, I had only 20 days in Chennai. In those 20 days I ate in all my favorite places (Like duhhhhhh!!) and avoided walking cuz the new shoe I bought was bent upon torturing my feet!! Do you know that in one Hot Chips branch in Velachery , the have a weighing machine RIGHT next to the counter where we order our food? Adhiga prasangi thanam I tell u!

We went to Tanzania via Dubai, and the hotel we stayed in had a bloody awesome breakfast menu (complimentary breakfast that too!!!).  Not wanting to leave out anything, and being the kanjoos middle class that I am, I tried everything vegetarian! My Mom said that I ate an entire bakery. And to top it all, they had a CHEESE PLATTER. When I finally reached Dad’s place in Tanzania, I found that I had the entire day to do nothing and I was armed with Hershey’s kisses, chips, cheese dip and the TV remote. A month of this with weekend outings that focused on wonderful scenery and good food, you can imagine how I am now! And how could I forget to mention the monthly cravings? Why, Why oh why, can’t I crave for carrots or celery or lettuce?

But it’s people’s reaction to my fat syndrome that really amuses me. The girl friends all are sympathetic and expect me to be empathetic (“you are not as fat as me” , “I have competition!!” , “your hair isn’t flat”) and then the topic veers into food….  The guys, on the other hand, are really sweet. It’s always “you still look really pretty” and “nee KONJAM than gunda irukke” . But yeah, what do guys  know anyway??????

And then there is my Mom. She is the one who has maximum complaints that I don’t love my body, I am too fat and blah blah. But what does she do?  Cook awesome stuff, come sit right next to me and eat, especially when I say I don’t wanna eat now!. I ask her why she does that, and she says “You will feel like eating when you see the food” . I mean, SERIOUSLY?????????????

Now I am going back to Chennai, once again decided to survive on juice and walk like crazy. Until I reach, I am gonna eat. As much as I can.

 Pfft, it’s just a few kilos and a few clothes that are too tight. Big deal!!!! 

My arms are too fat!!

The super market nearby has awesome cheese croissants!!!!!!!!!!

Oh God.