Thanimai adarndhadhu..

I stopped listening to music.

It's a big deal. 

Since I got my first phone ( with FM!!!) at the age of 15, my headphones have never left my side, much to my mother's annoyance. Wherever I went, however I went - cycle, scooter, car, bus, local trains, international flights - I always had an accompanying soundtrack. 

Tamil, Hindi, Malayalam.. mostly Rahman, Raja for the night, Harris for the memories of those days..sometimes a carefully curated playlist, sometimes letting shuffle do its thing and on the days I need company, the FM....Music was a constant.

Songs were after all, the best companion to my thoughts. Every phase of life, infatuation, love, heartbreak, loneliness, had a song to fuel it and these songs I heard gained meaning from the myriad of emotions in me.

Then I got married. 

He wasn't someone who constantly needed a soundtrack. Of course, he had his playlist, but that was only for the rare, melancholic days. 

I tried to add some music into our life, but it just didn't work. On drives together, we paused the songs so many times for a conversation that after a point, it just became a loud background score. Me and him, we were talkers. We always had something to say, something to share. Music took the backseat, and eventually, had no room in the car itself!

Slowly, in my alone time too, music lost it's special place. My thoughts weren't so complicated, nor was I so emotional that songs transcended their world and mixed into mine. Now they were just notes and lyrics, exceptional ones of course, but not relating to me. The problem, you see, is that for what I feel these days, songs aren't really written. 

Contentment is a severely underrated feeling.

Now, staying at my parents' place for a month, the Spotify app is finally being put to use...

Maybe this isn't New York Nagaram, but thanimai adarndhadhu for sure!